Can't stop thinking..

"I found myself thinking today about life before university. Life was simple. I knew what was going to happen and where life was going. Caity and I would talk about life after graduation and what it would be like. It is not anything like what I expected. I keep getting older and life never gets simpler or easier to understand. I expected that when I turned twenty my life would magically become everything that it was suppose to be. That everything that God had planned would just fall into place. I expected that I would be totally independent and the person that I wanted to be and all of this was going to happen at midnight on August 12th. I was still as lost and confused and dependent as I was on August 10th. Nothing had really changed. I was frustrated. I realized that to become that person that I was expecting to be the morning of my birthday I had to trust God completely and to give him my life. How can he change me and mold me if I wont let him?
I really felt lost and sometimes I still do feel lost. I don't always know what I am going to do or where I am going but I guess that is part of the mystery of life and the joy of surrendering my all to God. I can  honestly say that the biggest learning curve for me was learning to rely on God and not myself to have life all figured out. 
Besides if you knew the ending of the book would the middle still be as exciting?"


~~Char